2021 - Dawn of a new day

I love the ironic optimism at the beginning of last year, where I acknowledged a difficult road ahead but still believed I could survive and thrive through whatever was thrown my way. I really did begin the year with some momentum and promise; Cut to me walking off property in mid-March with my team at the end of the day, and hearing one of them yell to me "Happy quarantine!" The place was already deserted by the time we left, and even more so when we returned in mid-June. By the middle of summer, weekends felt busy again. 

Multiple waves of layoffs later (5 or 6? - the latest just happened this month!) we have no idea what to expect and the job market is still pretty barren. Rumor has it that some theme parks are opening in March. Reality has me looking at the stuff I can control. 

Let's look at this year's goals, following the same format as previous years. I know it's March, but in reality the first two months haven't contributed much, at least locally. 

Things to do

• Work out 6 days a week, minimum - Gyms closed last year, so I had to figure out how to stay in shape at home. Yes, I went through multiple types of workouts at different times of day, essentially planning my day like an astronaut on a long journey to another planet, but eventually the conundrum was a matter of finding a day to take a break. In hindsight, I should have been more specific as far as what kind of shape I wanted to be in because I'm heavy right now, but this is something I want to keep figuring out. 
• Sleep at least 7 hours a night - With little more on my agenda in 2020 than surviving 2020, I was able to catch up on years of sleep. Now the trick is to stay consistent and stay committed to banking those hours each night, and to prep for sleep to make sure that I'm setting myself up the best way. I know this is another recurring goal, but it's still something I need to focus on. 
• Cross that career/job finish line intelligently - The biggest riddle of 2021 is whether to return to Universal once things open up again or find a new job. Part of me doesn't want to lose all of the progress and things I've built at Universal, and I want to help all of the artists who were paused last year. Another part of me sees the value in going somewhere else and becoming more, the way I have before. True to my Libra symbol, I have to balance the best of both and make educated moves. 
• Do not let a day go undervalued - I have three affirmations that pop up as reminders on my phone every day, and I do my best to say them out loud, but I have to go one step further. I need to create a habit either every night or every following morning of calling out specific things from the day before that I'm grateful for. It could be just things that I was able to accomplish, or things I learned, but more than ever I need to understand that each day counts. 
• Study music theory - I started the study but ran into obstacles and distractions, even talked myself out of it considering I didn't know what my future would hold. After a few conversations with artists, I realize that this creative world is always going to be with me, so I need to pick up that study again. I loved what I learned so far, even if it just refreshed what I studied in college. It's time to pick it up again. 

Things to have 

• A passport - This is a running joke, year to year, but honestly I'm running out of things that I actually want/need to have. I got a lot of key stuff in the past year and still managed to pay bills. But the passport...I do feel like it's going to have a butterfly effect once we're able to travel. It really has become the holy grail of possessions, and I haven't needed it since our trips to Europe and Argentina. Where would I go first, if money wasn't an issue, and the virus was completely gone? $175 is apparently the gateway price.
• The new smart car stereo - Now that River is completely paid off, there are only a couple of issues to deal with, and this one cosmetic/functional change. I don't know how long my work commute is going to be for the second half of the year, but I may make this my welcome back to work present. $500 or so.

Things to be

• Extra vigilant with my health - I began the pandemic with the concept that, for the long run, I'd have to approach this like a lone traveller on a long trip, like a sailor or astronaut. Astronauts even have to deal with no discernible difference between day and night, and over the past 12 months, I've noticed that there's not a lot of difference between weekends and weekdays, except for the fact that trash pickup is on Thursdays and there's no mail on Sundays. What I started then and have experimented with is something I still have to work on: the daily health routine. Every day I have boxes to check off boxes for tracking food, water intake, exercise minutes, etc. There's nothing better than seeing everything checked off for the day, and I have to stay committed to it.
• Open to change - As married as I am to the romantic concept of returning to my old job and trailblazing a new dawn for everything up there, I have to be open to being reborn and redefined in a new job, even if it feels small at first. I've done it before. I can do it again. I also have to remember that the job I ended up with was not the job I was given, so anything is possible, even in a new city.
• Available to others - I have understandably been somewhat isolated, hiding in this cocoon where evolution is super slow and self-survival has slowed down to preserve energy. Other people are stuck in the same place, though, and we all still see each other as we were last defined, and that means that this optimistic, productive, positive spin I'm trying to work on may still be useful to the people I've worked with in the past. I can't hide from them. I also may not have any answers for them, but maybe together we can figure some things out.

My sincere hope is that this year, just like last year, changes the game, challenges my creativity, and begins to build a new future, one we couldn't see before. Obviously, there's nothing but unknown ahead of us and everyone's been scattered to survive in their own spaces. There's no more knowledge of us as we used to be; While some people are thriving right now and others are struggling, we can only work on the future. There's no going back.

And here's something I need to remember. When I started at Universal, nobody cared. I was the unknown, older, new guy who found enemies before I made friends. I persevered, hustled, built, and then it was all gone. Everyone was gone, and a second chance was not offered. Same story as before, in past jobs, my past in theater, my past in college. Accomplishments, intimate connections and support, all wiped away to clean the slate for something new. Some people have already forgotten, I'm sure, and some long lost sources of light have returned. As always, I may not have everything I want, but I'm pretty sure I have what I need.

2020 shut down the world. Let's make sure 2021 gives us something in exchange for that. We may not be entitled to anything more than the chance to make it right.