It's time for a new entry. It would all too easy for a novel reader to look at that last entry and asume that I've been stuck on that beach, when the opposite is actually true. That entry was the emptying of the cup, the burning of feelings onto the nearest medium so that I could free my mind and heart up for the next thing...
...and the next thing came as it did years before with the same subject, the habit that has fueled healing within my life: more hard work. As always, the hard work pays off immediately, either as an affirmation of who I am and what I can do or just the distraction I need to be open to what's immediately going on around me. What's happened since then? I got a promotion and a nice raise, and I got involved and immediately overwhelmed with multiple creative projects at work on a company-wide scale that resulted in crazy recognition and mad overtime pay. I still have the play I'm directing and at each rehearsal my actors are reaching new plateaus that make me even more proud of who they were when they came to me and who they are as actors right now. Best of all, I'm dating now. I never quite made the time before, but you know, baby steps are important.
All this change aside, you know I'm the same person, just a little more involved, maybe a little more responsible because I have that much more to do. I still hear the voices from my past, I know I protect myself and still get those tingly spidey sense feelings when I go into certain situations. I still do things that have a huge potential of making me look like an idiot, but at the same time, I do them with the knowledge that other people won't even try. Yes, I'm becoming even better at taking in some things, discarding others, and not even giving the rest a second thought. It makes my load lighter.
In this crazy new world that keeps turning itself inside out and finds me constantly moving, I have an abundance of things to look forward to. Ohhh optimistic blog entries are boring to read and nowhere near as entertaining as the painful ones, but as I see it, the pieces define the whole. I have a pretty clear vision of where I stand now.
Where I'm going is another story...the habit will decide that.
