Goal Review: Hindsight is 2020

Approaching a review of my goals from last year, I think it was assumed that everything would be a wash. For seven months in 2020 I spent most of my time inside my apartment, only going out to forage at supermarkets for groceries and only 2-3 long drives for some escapism. So before I take on my goals for this year - mind you, it’s almost February but it feels like 2021 only started on the 20th - I want to look at what my intentions were back when I was naive and hopeful for a great year. Yes, things were breaking down economically and everything seemed fragile already, but I still had hope that I could get ahead of things and affect change. I was ready to abandon what was known and trailblaze. 

Let’s recap intentions versus reality.

Things to do

• Work out 5 times a week, minimum - Once I realized that my gym membership wasn’t going to amount to anything, I looked for other options and found a whole community working out in VR. I started as usual working out 3-4 days a week, then eventually went up to 6-7 days a week. Mission accomplished. 
• Sleep 7 hours a night - Once I stayed indoors, this was fixed right away, and I went on unbelievable streaks of 7-8 hour nights of sleep, which improved everything. Who knew? 
• Reserve a deep clean day 1x/month - So, I did a couple of deep cleans on my apartment, which was amazing, but I never left the place, so naturally some clutter started to happen as I ordered things from Amazon and had to make some living adjustments. A deep clean is overdue - I feel like there’s 2020 residue in the apartment. 
• Take a vacation - I had planned on going to Nashville, looked up tickets and lodging, but as it turns out my only vacation was a weekend in Big Bear the weekend after my birthday (and the day was laid off). It still counts. 
• Doctor Up - With hospitals overrun by COVID patients, I stayed away from doctors for the most part but I did take care of some big things in 2020. That was important. I also made it a habit of tracking my weight, temperature, blood pressure, and other things almost daily. I might even be healthier now, in quarantine, than I was during normal times. 
• Finish the book – With the future in doubt, I have wondered sometimes how valuable this book would be. It’s still there, and I organized a lot to keep it in mind. 
• Meditate twice a week – While I was employed, I did the meditation twice a week, but once I was on my own, in my own space, it completely went away. 

Things to have

• A passport - Still nothing on this. How many years have I had this on my list? Also, did it make sense to get a passport with borders closed? Nope! 

• A new personal laptop - A lot has changed with this one. In a year when I could ONLY work through my work laptop remotely, I not only finally got a macbook, I also got a gaming PC laptop! And then I turned the work laptop in, but getting TWO laptops this year was a huge win.

Things to be

• Attentive & patient - This was tested a lot with the team, but when I had a few sessions with performers, especially remote ones, I found that active listening was an exercise in learning. 
• More aggressive with career - So much to think about this one. Career stopped, industry shut down. Severance builds a bridge, but to what? As far as 2020 goes, this was checked and paused. 
• Open to changing my status - Age and isolation are really playing tricks on me here. If I could say at the beginning of 2020 that I was used to being alone and liked it, what followed tested that theory, and my reaction is still mixed. I like not having to answer to or change for anyone, but at the same time this isolation is definitely affecting my mental health. 
• A selfless and inclusive independence - I have done everything I could to be there for people during this time, even those I don’t know well. It hasn’t been easy because I’ve struggled too and haven’t asked for help, but I still follow my instincts. 

2020 wasn't a total loss, apparently. For a year that shuffled everything, took so many things away, and forced me to spend the holidays alone, I do have a lot to be grateful for:

• My health
• My family is still safe and my mother was able to pass before COVID arrived
• 12 years of work with the company has kept me safe in a severance cocoon, especially factoring in the fact that I never took vacation. That payout was also generous. 
• It was also a year of an important, quiet purge of people who not only weren't contributing to my life, they were also not contributing to reality. Or society. 
• Out of the 12 months, I worked for five on property and was paid for ten. 
• My car was paid off. As were two other things. 
• The world of virtual reality saved my sanity. Thank you, Oculus. 
• I made it to 2021. 

The last is the most important. I'm here. I made it. Now I can start working on goals for this year. More to come on that soon....