Okay, this is a spooky time for me. Really spooky, and I have to stay focused on the things ahead of me rather than the things around me. Old feelings, somewhat recognized, are resurfacing, and I find myself doing everything I can to keep this thing from happening. I can feel it in my gut, I can feel it in my head, I can feel it in my heart, and I know...well, this is going to sound really weird...but I know it in my bones each and every time she thinks about me. Maybe that's just wishful thinking, but she's doing something to me, and I am feeling both wonderful and really uneasy about it.

What am I talking about? This isn't going to happen. I need to focus on the thing in front of me, the thing above me and above all, keep myself happy. I've got way too much at stake here.

Oh. Was I typing out loud? Ummm forget everything you just read. I'm just...yes, I'm rambling. I can't feel what I'm feeling right now. I'm gonna put all that...there...right next to my Pancreas. No, too tight. How about...in one of my lungs? I can smell her there anyway. Box, box, where is there a box big enough?

I hate these evolutionary spurts - everything in me stretches thin to make room. Too many feelings, not enough words. Sense not make I am.