It is so hard to keep up with all of the details. One thing that I pursue continues pushing further and further ahead, out of my reach, and while I keep running because I'm being pursued by a larger crowd of...well, I keep running because that's my cruising speed...I feel myself start to veer off to one side, towards a new influence, a new inspiration.

I have always said that people will always fight for their right to not get involved rather than using that energy to interact, and sometimes my need for them, my need for answers, has driven me into that beautiful, smooth and wonderfully expressive brick wall. Oh, welcoming arms, why hast thou forsaken me?

Okay, it's not about them. It's not about whom connect with or disconnect from. It's about what I'm doing with what I have, staying involved in my own life. All this squirming...with the reluctant ones...who delicately set me on a shelf to collect dust with the rest of the seasonal items...it's all for naught.

I'm happy. Real happy. Can I count that blessing first?