And there it went. It's weird how a paradigm can shift as quickly as a carnival ride. I was waiting for an ending, or a change, or a discovery, and what I ended up discovering upon opening that room of friendship when I heard the door unlock was...well...I still have to figure out what it is. I still have to figure out who she is to me now, but there's one major change:

I'm not in love with the girl any more.

I'm in love with the idea that once was, the stolen hug on a Halloween, the connection between two people who loved to laugh and talk well about each other when the other one was absent. I'm in love with the girl who had strong feelings for me and our familiarity, not that this in any way defined a committed relationship. Did I ever believe we had a chance for a relationship? I don't know that I did. But what I do know is that we had something.

But I didn't see what was just under the surface, possibly because I didn't want to get hurt, and I knew she would eventually hurt me. I just knew that she would. What I understand now is that I offer little more than entertainment and company to her. I don't bring any truth to her life, and who would want to spend any time or effort on that? Surely not her.

In the end of this short story, I had to let go of my belief in everything that had happened before. I have to redefine what is, and accept the fact that no, it's not my time yet. I have to be alone a little bit longer. The unfortunate reality is that the things that don't engage my heart will not involve my mind and vice versa, and I need to be inspired, especially in a world where I find rejection and a fight everywhere I turn. The holiday season is upon us and at this very moment, I want to be alone. I want to recover from this incredible, short-lived inspiration and come back at the world better than ever. It's time to make a change. It's time to change the world.

I just have to do it without her. Do you believe in a point of no return?